is he trying to beam the video into my brain through the thumbnail
If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:
Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."
If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.
But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."
"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.
The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. YThey wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"
As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.
"I have powerful wizard magics."
Gets them every time
The fact that Beretta sells a Bobcat with a factory threaded barrel is so fucking funny to me
The 21A in its designed role as a pocket pistol makes complete sense, even if you don't agree with it. It's tiny and lightweight and you can carry it basically anywhere and it makes a really loud bang when you put holes in stuff. Sick. Put a can on it and it's none of that anymore, and you can't even use the sights. There is literally zero practical application for this gun other than murdering somebody in the back of the head from muzzle contact. This is a gun for villains. This is a machine for a guy with a grudge and a plan. It's so fucking funny I love devices with no purpose but harm.
I watched a video about this one time where a guy said he pocket carried one with a can on and loaded with rat shot so that while he was walking his dog in his Florida suburb he could dispatch venomous snakes "without disturbing the neighbors" which is objectively funny as hell to imagine
Posting this iconic piece of media that I just NEVER found online isolated except in an archived reddit thread
Anonymous asked:
why is your cat green?
gothicprep answered:
She’s built different 😌
Look i tried to laugh it off, but I haven’t stopped thinking about this message because… my cat literally isn’t green
like where is the green
Oh Christ
This is the color your cat is
colors i eyedropped directly from op's cat
I drew a tree using only colours eyedropped from OP's cat.
every time i see this post all i see is some green alien kitty with antennae so i had to draw it
I originally thought those were supposed to be mushrooms, implying that this cat is moldy
Moldy forest cat
i'm happy y'all made fan art of my cat. i tried to show her and she just rubbed her face on my phone
Pet your cat OP, 50% shot it helps.
the first time I reblogged this, like a few weeks ago, it had like 4,000 notes. why do people keep insisting tumblr is dead
i had a DREAM about the green cat last night. not sure what she was up to but. nice to meet her :)
GREEN CAT IS BACK ON MY DAAAAAASH
We Love Green Cat
obsessed with the way my robotics team lead talks
she’s reinventing hieroglyphics
She’s the only person who truly understands how emojis were meant to be used.
I care more about being spoiled about what Chocolate Guy is making at the start of his tiktok videos than I do about Marvel movies. Don't post "chocolate guy makes a ____" in the description, I want to see him pour chocolate into an egg mold and then 2 minutes later be like "oohh shit " when I realize that it's actually a life size chocolate model of himself making a life size chocolate model of himself making a solid chocolate model of himself making a